Move-In Monday: Letting Go

At Elmira College, as the summer days get shorter, we start looking forward to the start of the Fall Term. While college is a big transition for students, it’s also a big adjustment for parents. Whether it’s a parent's first or fifth child in college, letting go can be tough.

Below are some useful tips and suggestions for parents that will help ensure both you and your student are ready for the road ahead:

TIPS FOR PARENTS:

• Before your student leaves for college, treat them to something special. Have some time set aside together. This could be college shopping, dinner without other siblings, or even going for a walk together.

• Hopefully, your student knows how to make the bed by now (you have only asked them to do that a million times), but try doing a load of laundry together. Make a simple meal together. Show them how to access and monitor an online bank account and talk about time management. All of these little things add up to create a more independent, successful student.

• During the trip to campus, talk about your expectations, especially as it relates to life outside of the classroom. Discuss college parties and responsible habits. Talk about what that means for your student and family. The College has developed guidelines to help ensure a safe learning and working environment, but that environment is put in jeopardy if guidelines aren’t followed.

• As hard as it may be, try your best not to focus on the upcoming goodbye and departure. You might miss the full impact of the orientation festivities and the excitement of your student.

• Reach out to other parents of new students you know. They're likely feeling and going through the same thing. Just a quick conversation could create a support network for whenever you need it.

• As your student settles into college life, they might feel homesick. Fight your urge to pick them up and bring them home. Instead, offer to set up a family video chat or send a care package with their favorite things from home.

• Students may call about struggles with a roommate or friend. Don’t take the issue on yourself, but discuss a course of action your student can take to solve the problem. Let them advocate for themselves. However, if problems continue or worsen, advise your student to contact their Resident Assistant (RA) or Community Coordinator (CC).

• For many parents, transitioning from seeing their student on a daily or regular basis to not at all may create some anxiety and uncertainty, but many new students need time to adjust and fully immerse themselves in college life. Don't be alarmed if you don't hear from them right away or all the time. Remember to trust your parenting, be there if your student needs you, and know that they will learn and grow over the next four years.

• The moment of departure can be hard. Students and parents have a mixed set of emotions, and parents may not know the best time to leave. It’s an Elmira tradition that parents leave at the conclusion of the President’s Welcome. Parents and students are invited to embrace in an “Elmira Hug,” and then parents should depart. Students will walk with President Lindsay to their next set of activities designed to help them bond as a class and get to know each other.

Beyond the above advice, some of our Summer Orientation leaders shared their advice to parents and families.

Hopefully, these tips ease the transition to having a college student. If you have questions, please contact the Residence Life professional staff.